Sometimes life gets to be too much…

I promised yesterday that I would get into why I haven’t been blogging consistently this summer.   I have been wanting to write about this for about a week or so, but didn’t have the time to sit down and write.

Since I was about 18, I have suffered on and off with clinical depression.  That depression was usually accompanied with anxiety.  I suffered all through university and finally, at 24, I had a friend tell me that he thought I might be suffering from depression.  I thought about it and researched a bit at the library (no internet back in 94 for me!) and went to see my doctor.  I was on anti-depressant medication from  age 24 until 38. 

I had been feeling really great, but over the last 5 or 6 months I have been finding my anxiety is creeping back up again.  It started mostly when I had to drive anywhere.  Back when I was on the anti-depressants I had no trouble driving anywhere, anytime.  I could drive the 400 series hwy’s with no issues.  But now?  It sends me into heart palpitations and dread.  I am at the point that I have to psych myself up to get on the highway, and I still avoid the 401 across the top of the city.  I will take the toll highway just to help with my sanity.  If I have time, I completely avoid the highway. 

Unfortunately, now,  the anxiety is creeping up everywhere, even when I have to make the simplest decisions.  I have had several panic attacks over the last few weeks (I talked about one here), including one when I was driving.

Due to the panic attacks, I am just feeling down in the dumps.  I don’t know where the anxiety is stemming from and it’s upsetting.  I have spoken to my family physician, and she has started me on a medication.  Next step is to phone my EAP through work and go and talk to someone.

Thankfully, most of the time, I am too busy to think about things, what with work and carting children everywhere.  I just wish I could pinpoint what the heck is going on, because I hate feeling this way.

Hopefully you guys will bear with me through this.  Perhaps I will blog a bit more about it.  But that’s it in a nutshell.

 Thanks for listening…er…reading!


5 responses to “Sometimes life gets to be too much…

  1. (((Judi))) I’m right there with you… I’m trying to work through my anxiety & panic issues as well. I think it’ll be a slow process, but I hope for us both it’s onwards & upwards! I spoke to my dr. and I’m not on medication but am going to speak to a therapist through hubby’s EAP as well. If you want to chat via email or phone anytime, i’d like to & i’m always around. Not like we’re strangers!! 😉

    • It totally sucks. I am going to try exercising more too, and maybe that will help. We belong to the YMCA and I think I am going to try yoga. I may take you up on your offer to chat too…definitely not strangers!

  2. Sending you hugss. Things get so challenging when your body chemistry balance is wonky. Lots of fresh air and sunshine. Lots of walks. Lots of hugs. (((HUGS)))

  3. Judi,
    PLEASE remember this is a chemical imbalance in your brain, there is nothing that you did to cause it. You are on the right track, and generalized anxiety and depression have a lot of cross over. I remember thinking “what is wrong with me and why can’t I fix it?” the reality was I could not fix it on my own. i even tried to come off the medication after 18 months and it failed miserably. What I think is that if that little pill makes me feel better everyday, and makes my families life better then I will take it.
    BIG HUGS to you!
    Also remember to lean on your family, they need you and you need them, so let them help.

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