I promised yesterday that I would get into why I haven’t been blogging consistently this summer. I have been wanting to write about this for about a week or so, but didn’t have the time to sit down and write.
Since I was about 18, I have suffered on and off with clinical depression. That depression was usually accompanied with anxiety. I suffered all through university and finally, at 24, I had a friend tell me that he thought I might be suffering from depression. I thought about it and researched a bit at the library (no internet back in 94 for me!) and went to see my doctor. I was on anti-depressant medication from age 24 until 38.
I had been feeling really great, but over the last 5 or 6 months I have been finding my anxiety is creeping back up again. It started mostly when I had to drive anywhere. Back when I was on the anti-depressants I had no trouble driving anywhere, anytime. I could drive the 400 series hwy’s with no issues. But now? It sends me into heart palpitations and dread. I am at the point that I have to psych myself up to get on the highway, and I still avoid the 401 across the top of the city. I will take the toll highway just to help with my sanity. If I have time, I completely avoid the highway.
Unfortunately, now, the anxiety is creeping up everywhere, even when I have to make the simplest decisions. I have had several panic attacks over the last few weeks (I talked about one here), including one when I was driving.
Due to the panic attacks, I am just feeling down in the dumps. I don’t know where the anxiety is stemming from and it’s upsetting. I have spoken to my family physician, and she has started me on a medication. Next step is to phone my EAP through work and go and talk to someone.
Thankfully, most of the time, I am too busy to think about things, what with work and carting children everywhere. I just wish I could pinpoint what the heck is going on, because I hate feeling this way.
Hopefully you guys will bear with me through this. Perhaps I will blog a bit more about it. But that’s it in a nutshell.
Thanks for listening…er…reading!