Sigh…

Things have been rough around here.

As most of you know, my 8-year-old, Andrew, is on the autism spectrum.  Life on the spectrum has it’s ups and downs, but right now we’re having some very serious downs. 

Andrew’s behaviours are getting a little out of control, lots of outbursts, lots of self-injurious behaviour, negative self talk (I hate myself, no one likes me, I’m stupid, etc).  He’s charged at other students, tried to hit them and his TA.  He hits himself, a lot.  It’s not fun. 

Most of all, all I can think about is how hard it must be for him to not be able to communicate how he’s feeling.  Andrew can talk, in fact, he’s pretty articulate, but he has real trouble figuring out exactly what emotion he’s feeling and more trouble putting that into words.  When he gets this way, I want to pull him close and hug him until he feels better.

Today I got hauled into the principals office with the Principal, VP, Andrew’s TA and Andrew.  We chatted about his behaviour and Mr. F. tried to get him to understand the “ripple effect” that his behaviour has on others.  Not sure if he got through.  Andrew doesn’t have a lot of empathy…he’s fairly self-absorbed (which is in total contrast to my other kid on the spectrum, who has empathy running out his pores, lol).  They tried some different strategies and helped him identify when his anxiety is rising, and he had a better day at school.  Unfortunately he has had a tumultuous afternoon here at home.  I am at a loss at what to do.  We’re starting some positive affirmations, working on his PACE  (positive, active, clear, energetic) activities, but I am not sure if that is going to help.  I am looking into other things that we can do to help him.

Sorry for the whining…I am just feeling stressed out lately because of all this.  It’s written all over my face in a rosacea outbreak.  I don’t normally post about the negative of autism, because well, we are inundated with the negative from the media, etc.   I like to shed more positivity, but today…

Today, I just needed to vent. 

Thanks for listening.

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14 responses to “Sigh…

  1. You vent all you want.

    My son can spiral downward…but just remember that the upward spiral is just around the corner. We have had a very hard time teaching empathy, being less self-absorbed, and consequences for his actions. But in the end all the work is worth it.

    Is he involved in any social group at school…maybe led by the school psychologist or social worker? That has helped us tremendously.

    • From your lips to God’s ears. He is involved in a social group right now, 2 hours a week for 10 weeks, with ABA therapists. Hoping that will help some. Teaching empathy is going to be a long, hard, road.

      • I would be happy to share more about our experiences if it would help. We just had a meeting at school, where Special Ed and others shared with us that other kids consider our son “a friend.” That took my breath away. I NEVER thought we would get there.

        He will be 10 this summer….so hang on…..you aren’t far behind us!

      • Mysti, I would love to hear more about how you worked on empathy! A few weeks ago, our hamster died. Aaron, my youngest, was inconsolable. Andrew did not get why Aaron couldn’t stop crying about it. Then he said “don’t worry, I am crying on the inside” and “Aaron, you have 2 choices…you can let it ruin your day, OR you can accept it and move on” Oy vey!!!

  2. Although I do not have a child with autism, I appreciate, the need to vent and no one would judge you for venting. I am certain that you feel better, now that you have “gotten it off your chest”. Here is hoping that things get better soon.

  3. Vent away !!!
    We all need it sometimes!!

    Hope tomorrow is a better day!

  4. ((Hugs))) My oldest has Asperger’s… I get it. Hoping tomorrow is better!

  5. 😦 Sorry things have been so rough for you… I can see why you’re stressed, I’d be the same way. Hope things start looking up for you! ((hugs))

  6. Just found your blog. I’m following…just wanted you to know. 😉 I’ve recently converted my single mama blog to a now been blended for 5 years blog. Hope you visit!

  7. Pingback: This and that… « Livin' Large – Tales of a Blended Family

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